Boredom
by OhJay
Summary: Zack's suffering from extreme boredom and comes up with a list of 350 things he can do...This can only mean trouble for everyone else. Crack, NO YAOI! Implied ZackxAerith and CloudxTifa.
1. I The List

_**I The List**_

"Zack?"

Angeal had just gotten home from a long mission, and found his apprentice Zack Fair, SOLDIER Second Class, hanging upside down from the couch reading a book.

"Yeah?" he said not bothering to look up.

"What is this?" Angeal asked holding a piece of paper that was on the floor.

"Just an on going list I'm making of things to do when I'm really bored"

**_1. Dance with a stick of celery_**

He got stared at a lot that day at ShinRa.

**_2. put a lampshade on your head and do the hula_**

Angeal could only stare silently at the young SOLDIER and wondered why he had agreed to take him as an apprentice in the first place.

**_3. Drink two gallons of chocolate milk while hopping on one foot and holding a pickle_**

After already seeing the hula incident Angeal just walked away and pretended he didn't see anything.

**_4. take some sidewalk chalk, draw a rainbow, and run around the yard 3 times. then pray to the goddess for a motorcycle._**

"You talked him into doing this didn't you Genesis?" Angeal asked his old friend as he watched another one of Zack's antics.

"I told him if 'he asks the goddess then he shall receive' "

**_5. Draw a mustache on a paper, cut it out, put it on your wall, draw eyes above it, then go tell your mentor that the wall is watching you while you were eating your shirt_**

"Zack, are you on drugs?"

"What? No! They mess up your brain and stuff"

_I believe your brain is already messed up... _He thought.

"Then why were you eating your shirt?"

**_6. Put on a ninja headband, go to clothing shop, hide in the clothes...don't breathe_**

He broke the world record for not breathing and was disappointed that it couldn't be made official because no one witnessed it.

**_7. Go to the bathroom, lock the door, jump out the window, break into you neighbors place and eat their food_**

Angeal got up when he heard a knock at the door, and when he opened it he was a bit surprised to see it was their neighbor Sephiroth, but he didn't look pleased.

"I believe this," he said holding up Zack by the back of his shirt. "is yours" he finished before dropping him on the floor and turning to leave.

"Keep him out of my apartment from now on"

**_8. Claim that the voices in your head told you that you are the King of Gaia and take over the country!_**

After that incident Angeal took him to get tested for any signs of a mental illness, and was rather shocked that they all came back negative. So he took him to another doctor to get a second opinion.

**_9. Take cheese and a banana...throw that at your wall and run like hell before the wall kills you for making it smell like a cheesy banana_**

**"RUN!"**

Angeal had just opened the apartment door when suddenly his apprentice came charging past him and continued down the stairs until he was outside. His SOLDIER instincts kicked in and he immediately searched the place for any monsters, but all he found that was out of the ordinary was a block of cheese and banana on Zack's bedroom floor right by the wall.

_** 10. Steal things and hide them in a bush. No one will suspect a thing.**_

And suddenly Angeal knew why it seemed his socks were slowly and mysteriously disappearing...

"...Did you say on going list?" He asked him in horror.

"Yep"

As Zack took the piece of paper from him and sat down on the couch with a pen Angeal paled, muttered something about going to lay down, and locked himself in his room.

_**Author's Notes**_

Alright this is all thanks to my con friend Shelby who came up with the original list in a facebook note that I edited a bit to fit FFVII and turned into this fic with her permission. There will be more to come, but I don't know when, but I am completely open to ideas from either experience or imagination (I will credit you here in my AN's).

If you like this story, then I strongly suggest that you check out **Diaphanous's **fic **"Mr. Funny"** and for any FullMetal Alchemist fans there's **iTorchic's "333 And More Ways to Get Kicked out of HQ  
" and "Winry's Automail Designs"**.

Please review!


	2. II Chaos At ShinRa

_**II Chaos at ShinRa **_

_**11. Make up nonsense rules and ask new recruits if there are following them.**_

"Wait, so you're saying that it's REQUIRED to bow down before SOLDIERS before missions and kiss their shoes?"

"Yep."

Messing with the infantrymen was always fun.

_**12. If a superior comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Then run out of the room screaming**_

It actually wasn't all that surprising considering how scary Sephiroth could be.

_**13. Get popcorn and throw at the 1sts, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things**_

"You were my brother Sephiroth! You were supposed to bring balance to force, not destroy it!"

_**14. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.**_

Once there was a decent size crowd around all looking up trying to figure out what he was looking at, Zack walked away without anyone noticing. No one ever did figure out what he had been staring at...

_**15. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!"**_

He really freaked Genesis out, while Angeal just sighed and walked away thinking _Why me?_

_**16. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it**_

Angeal didn't let Zack into the kitchen alone after that.

_**17. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"**_

The Turks didn't even blink.

_**18. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song**_

And that's how Kunsel and Zack met.

_**19. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation.**_

Another day, another trip to the doctor, still no signs of any mental illnesses. Angeal was starting to think HE was the one who was going insane...

_**20. Tape a walkie-talkie, hide it, and say to random people, "I know where you live..."**_

Genesis was becoming a frequent victim of Zack's pranks and antics.

_**Author's Notes**_

Ok so these are actually from **itorchic's "333 and More Ways to get Kicked Out of HQ" **that she said I could use (Thank you ^_^). # 13 is a quote from the Crisis Core parody done by **Sonsofsatire ** on Youtube (I also recommend watching that), and 11 is also a tribute to a FF parody on youtube (I believe it's just called "Final Fantasy Parody"). Like I said I'm open to ideas and suggestions here, and if you want me to keep updating this I'm gonna need them. I'll be fine for at least one more chapter, but after that...


	3. III More Chaos At ShinRa

_**III More Chaos at ShinRa**_

_**21. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better"**_

When Genesis came out of the bathroom he looked very disturbed, and started to avoid Zack as much as possible.

_**22. Stick stuff to the ceiling and see how long it takes people to notice**_

Angeal was starting to worry; Zack had been missing for more than fifteen hours. He knew that he was perfectly capable of taking care and defending himself, oh no it wasn't anything like that. He was afraid of what he might've gotten himself into.

"Hey"

Angeal checked Zack's room one more time, and looked up to see him stuck on the ceiling.

"How on earth did you even get up there?"

"I don't think you wanna know..."

_**23. Stalk your idol**_

Zack dared Cloud to follow Sephiroth around for the day, and came back looking like a little kid who watched a horror movie.

"He's scary…."

"Yep, that's Seph for ya"

_**24. Attempt to fly**_

"I have a question"

"Is now really the best time Zack?"

Angeal was trying to concentrate on the task at hand: Flying with only one wing to the ShinRa building while carrying his apprentice.

"Well, It's kind of important"

Angeal sighed and was tempted to just drop him somewhere.

"What is it?"

"How are you able to fly with only one wing?"

"….."

The truth was he actually didn't know.

_**25. Switch the signs on the Men and Women bathrooms**_

Zack, as well as most of the other SOLDIER members his age dubbed it his best prank yet.

_**26. Crawl around on the floor on hands and knees all day**_

"Zack...What are doing?"

"Kunsel thinks I've lost my sanity, so I'm trying to find it to prove him wrong"

"Yes well if you see mine anywhere let me know" Angeal told him.

"Sure thing"

_**27. Go on a treasure hunt**_

After getting the "Treasure" stolen from him after doing all those missions Zack vowed to get revenge on that little annoying Wutaiese girl.

_**28. Discover the many ways you can use duct tape**_

"Zack what happened to your sword?" Kunsel asked.

"It broke during a training session"

" So you duct taped it?"

_**29. See how many people you can fit into a desk**_

Lazard was pretty surprised when he opened his desk drawer to get a pen and saw Zack and Kunsel instead.

_**30. Fill a rubber chicken up with vodka and take sips whenever a **__**1st**__** is looking… then ask if they want some chicken juice**_

Angeal made a mental note not to let Zack near any alcohol again. Ever.

_**Author's Notes**_

Well, since you've all been lovely reviewers, I decided to get this chapter done and posted quickly for you. Once again these are from** itorchic's** fic (Again, thanks ^_^) and those of you who have given suggestions I am going to use them soon, so thank you and keeping reading and reviewing please!


	4. IV What Are Friends For?

_**IV What Are Friends For?**_

_**31. Blow things up for the hell of it**_

Zack was forbidden from using Materia for a month.

_**32. Play Paintball**_

Since the ShinRa infantrymen just couldn't admit that SOLDIER was better than them even though Zack had beaten them countless times in various training sessions, they challenged Zack to a paint ball match. He won, but Angeal made him clean up the entire mess.

_Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to hold it at ShinRa. _

It looked like someone had splatter painted the walls...It was going to take a while to clean.

_**33. Play 'Hide and go Seek' in the dark**_

Still refusing to admit SOLDIER was better the infantrymen challenged him to a epic match of hide and go seek after hours. Either they were stupid, or forgot that SOLDIERS could see in the dark better because of the Mako treatments.

_**34. Celebrate another year of work**_

And with the help of Cloud, Kunsel, and Reno, the first ShinRa year book was born!

_**35. Play Assassins **_

Once again, Zack was challenged by the infantrymen, but he didn't know how serious people could take the game.

"I swear they're all trying to stalking me!" Zack told Angeal after he came home one night and quickly locked the apartment door behind him.

From that night on he taught himself how to sleep with his eyes open.

_**36. Stare blankly at someone**_

All Genesis wanted to do was sit and read Loveless quietly (even though he had memorized every word of it already), that's all he wanted, but NOOOOOOOOO. Zack had to show up, and just stand in front of him and stare at him. Ironically this happened only a few days before he deserted…

_**37. Imitate a hero**_

"I am the great SOLDIER Sephiroth!"

And so Zack spent the day running around ShinRa in a black leather coat and silver wig trying to figure out how Sephiroth wielded a sword that long. Sephiroth spent the day trying to track him down so he could take back his coat and sword that Zack "Borrowed" without asking.

_**38. Play "The Game"**_

After explaining the rules of the game to all the SOLDIERS and infantrymen that didn't know about it, Zack then hijacked the ShinRa intercom for an important message: He had lost the game. He than ran and hid knowing he would most likely have an angry mob after him.

_**39. Mess with your best friend**_

"Do you mind?"

Cloud had just gotten home and really had to use the bathroom, but when he opened the door he found that Zack was sitting on the toilet reading the newspaper.

"Oh, sorry"

He closed the door, but then he realized something: Zack was supposed to be dead. When he opened the bathroom door again the room was empty.

_Great. First I hear him in my head and now I'm seeing him in my bathroom._

Meanwhile, back in the lifestream Zack was laughing while Angeal and Aerith just sighed and shook their heads. Some things never changed...

_**40. **__**Tie someone up, heft them over your shoulder, and walk around saying "Well, my Christmas shopping is done!"**_

"Ya'know, when you asked me to help you with something this isn't what I had in mind" Cloud told him.

"Oh like you have anything better to do"

Cloud couldn't really argue with that.

_**Author's Notes**_

Once again most of these were from **iTorchic**, but this is the last chapter that will have things from her story. I haven't actually played assassins myself, but I've heard stories about how it can get really out of hand (one of my friend's had to change cars because they waited outside her house every morning before school) so that's where 35 came from. 39 I came up with myself for once, and it's more of an Advent Children one in case it wasn't obvious. 40 was suggested by **QueenOfTheYaoi **(more of yours are coming soon) and please forgive me for 38...


	5. V Zack's Insanity

_**V Zack's Insanity **_

_**41. Watch a chick flick. Whenever there's a gushy moment, cover your eyes and say "Ahh! it burns!"**_

"Then why are you watching it in the first place?" Angeal asked him.

"'Cause I'm bored and have nothing else better to do"

Angeal sighed and facepalmed.

"Go outside or something"

"Ok mom" he said with an annoyed tone to his voice.

_**42. Tiptoe two feet behind people while whistling the mission impossible theme.**_

Sephiroth and Genesis just ignored him, so he found and freaked out another victim: Cloud. __

_**43. Balance a block of jello on your head while bouncing up and down and saying "gimmeh mah wiggle room!"  
**_

Angeal was considering calling his parents and asking if anything was wrong with him._**  
**_

_**44. Stand in front of a mirror. Offer your reflection a grapefruit and yell at it when it copies your every move.**_

When Angeal poked his head into Zack's room to see what he was yelling about, well, he wished he hadn't.

"Angeal make him stop!"

"..."

He just walked away, and shut the door, then decided to leave the apartment for a while.

_**45. Win an epic battle**_

"**AAAHHHGH!"**

The sudden sound made Angeal flinch.

"Are you ok in there Zack?"

"Yeah, just yanked out a tangle that's all."

_**46. Try to achieve perfection **_

"How are you able to do that?" Kunsel asked him pretty surprised.

"Do what?"

"You're hair! Not only does it defy the laws of gravity but it's perfect!"

Zack shrugged.

"I don't think it's 'perfect', nothing ever is"

"But what if you are perfect? What if you're a god or something?"

"But I'm Agnostic…"

_**47. Sit in your car. Point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow  
down.  
**_

"You really need to get a girlfriend" Cloud told him.

"Yeah and you need to stop being emo"

_**48. Use an ATM. Scream "I WON, I WON!" when the money comes out. **_

Everyone around stared at him, and as expected Angeal dragged his apprentice away before it could some how get worse. __

_**49. Hang upside down from a high tree branch. See how many people try and get  
you down using various methods and how many wonder how you got there.**_

No one actually tried to get him down much less pay attention to him, so he hid up in the tree and started throwing gumballs at anyone who passed by.

_**50. **_ _**Drink a lot of coffee**_

"**COFFEEEEE!**COFFEE,COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE!"

Angeal knew it was going to be a long day...So he locked him in the training room.

_**Author's Notes**_

Can you imagine what it would be like when someone like Zack or Cloud get's tangles in their hair? (Reno too). Anyway I came up with 45 and 46 (edited actual conversation right there) and the rest are from **QueenOfTheYaoi. **Chapter 6 is already done, but I'm gonna finish chapter 7 before I put it up.


	6. VI What Zack Should Never Do Again

_**VI What Zack Should Never Do Again**_

_**51. Put a stink bomb in the lobby.**_

Enough said. 

_**52. Say why after anybody makes a comment**_.

He stopped after Sephiroth threatened to stab him.

_**53. Hide behind a plant. Shoot paint balls at random objects and or people.**_

It was hard to see from behind the plant so he didn't actually see who he hit. Genesis and Sephiroth were pissed, and Zack ran for his life. 

_**54. Try to eat veggies through a straw.**_

Angeal made another mental note to himself: Never take Zack out to eat in public restaurants.

_**55. Make up lyrics to a victory theme**_

"You just got powned FTW!

Now your dead, your dead because I killed you, I took you by surprise!

I just saw you roaming the forest and said 'Let's go kill those guys!

You're a squirrel that somehow has money, and sometimes swords and sheilds!

I don't care if you're a cute bunny, I'll kick your ass for reals!

Let's all dance right next to your corpses, we're happy that you're dead!

Now we might place chess on your carcass, or Soccer with your head!

La la la, you're dead la la la la, we killed you la la la. No remorse la la la la la Yeah!"

He actually taught it to the younger SOLDIER members, and soon everyone was singing it every time they completed a mission.

_**56. Reply "I'm Agnostic" to any questions asked by people who don't know what it means.**_

"You gonna eat those corn dogs?"

"No, I'm Agnostic"

Later...

"Hey Zack you wanna spar?"

"Can't, I'm Agnostic"

At home...

"Zack, shouldn't you be getting to bed?"

"I can't, I'm Agnostic"

"...What does religion have to do with this?"

_**57. Modify Sephiroth's boots so that they squeak loudly every time he takes a step.**_

He actually got used to it after a few hours, but the problem was no one could take him very seriously now much less fear him.

_**58. Eat an inhuman amount of sugar.**_

"HeyAngealhow'sitgoing?Arewegonnadoanytrainingtoday'causeIthinkit'!"

"What on earth did you have?" Angeal asked as he slowly backed away.

"Ohnothingmuch,'tcountingsoIdon'?"

So once again, Angeal locked him in the training room to burn off all that extra energy. When he went to check on him about an hour later he was fast asleep on the floor. 

_**59. Throw a brick off of the roof. Aim for the first person you see below. **_

Once again Genesis ended up being the victim. Here he was walking to work, reading Loveless when suddenly a brick fell from the sky and NEARLY hit him, but Zack's aim was off.

"**HAVE YOU GONE MAD?" **

"Maybe..." 

_**60. Jump in honey, followed by a tub of granola, and ask random people if they  
want a bite. **_

Cloud was really beginning to wonder why he was friend's with Zack in the first place, and if what ever he had was contagious.

_**Author's Notes**_

Ok so 51-54 and 58-60 are once again from **QueenOfTheYoai, **55 is from this youtube video: .com/watch?v=t8NsnLfIAcs 56 is actually an edited conversation I had with a friend at school, and 57 is another tribute to the FFVII parodies done by **SonsOfSatire **on Youtube.


	7. VII More of Zack's Insanity

_**VII More of Zack's Insanity **_

_**61. Tie mistletoe on a stick and put it above random people and tell them to kiss or hug  
**_

After pulling it on Genesis and Sephiroth he put it away, but then when he began dating Aerith he pulled it on her too.

_**62. fill a pool with chocolate milk and swim in it**_

It was one of those little baby pools, but he had put it right in the middle of the ShinRa lobby.

_**63. Dig a hole. Bury every book you can find that is not of the comic or manga  
variety. **_

Genesis went through extreme withdrawal systems when he couldn't find his copy of _Loveless_.

_**64. Duct tape someone to a wall**_

"Why?" Angeal asked as when he saw his apprentice duct taped to a wall on the SOLDIER floor.

"Why not?"

_**65. Sing the alphabet in another language**_

Since Zack didn't know any other languages he just made up his own.

_**66. See how many people can fit into a helicopter**_

"I call driver's seat!"

"Shotgun!"

"Back seat!"

"Other back seat!"

"Arm rest!"

"Cloud, you get truck"

"What? But- Ok…"

_**67. While in the helicopter have a water balloon fight**_

Everyone got soaked, so they just decided to call it a draw.

_**68. After the fight, get more water balloons then fly around Midgar and throw them at random people. **_

This time it was Zack who made the challenge: SOLDIER V.S. The ShinRa infantrymen V.S. The Turks to see who could hit the most citizens. Zack's team won.

_**69. Try to jump rope while having a tea party**_

The result was Zack somehow getting himself tangled up in the jump rope, and also spilling tea on his shirt. _**  
**_

_**70. Eat all the ice-cream in the freezer and count how many times you get brain freeze**_

"Well?" Kunsel asked.

"Thirty seven…Ow…"

_**Author's Notes**_

Sorry it took a little while. Part of it was finals, some of it was block, and some it was because my computer got infected for the millionth time -_- But my computer's all clean of any nasty viruses AND I'm on break! Whoo!

Ok from now on I'm just gonna so the credits like this:

61-62: **Victoria Valentine**

63: **QueenOfTheYaoi**

65: My friend Callie

64, 66-68: Me ^_^

69-70: **Sunny Lighter **

Chapter eight coming soon! Also, I'm posting this on Diviant art as well so for those of you that had suggestions and have usernames there as well please tell me what they are so I can credit you properly.


	8. VIII Angeal's Headache

_**VIII Angeal's Headache **_

_**71. Hang upside down while listening to Beethoven and see if you get smarter**_

Angeal actually wished that had actually worked. __

_**72. Walk around with underwear on your head and see if anyone notices, if they ask say it's the latest fashion and see if it catches on**_

Kunsel did it with him just for the heck of it, but it didn't catch on at all...__

_**73. Wear a cape and ride around the supermarket on a cart yelling HERE COMES SUPERDUDE**_

Angeal turned his back for two minutes, two minutes and this is what happened...

_**74. Every time you see anything round pretend it's an eyeball and yell at it to stop looking at you**_

"How many doctors have you taken him to?" Genesis asked Angeal.

"Three..."

"...Think it's time for a fourth?"

_**75. Give someone a haircut in their sleep. Make sure to wear the hair as a wig the next day.**_

Sephiroth was his first choice, but he didn't want to die a slow and painful death so young. Angeal was out of the question, Genesis' was to short, and Rude was already bald, so he had two options: Reno or Lazard. He chose to mess with the Turk. __

_**76. Paint yourself to match a spot on the wall. Stand in that spot, no moving. See who notices.**_

For the people that DID notice he jumped out and scared the crap out of them. __

_**77. Put on kitty ears. Proceed to hop around like a bunny and bark like a puppy.  
**_

Angeal concluded that Zack probably had been dropped on the head a few times when he was a baby.

_**78. Stare intently at a bag of chips. Taunt it until it talks to you.  
**_

Angeal was just glad he wasn't out in a public restaurant this time.

_**79. Go hide somewhere. Plant a trail of tofu cubes leading to you. When found, offer the person a large tofu block. Claim it's your brain on a silver platter.  
**_

Sephiroth had followed the tofu to a supply closet. When he saw it was Zack, he just silently closed the door, and walked away.

_**80. Poke people's cheek. Say "Poke" while doing it. When they look at you, say "I didn't do it, he did!" and point at the closest inanimate object.**_

_Someone just kill me..._ Angeal thought as his apprentice poked him for the fifth time.

_**Author's Notes**_

71-74: **Sunny Lighter**

75-80: **QueenOfTheYaoi **


	9. IX Even More of Zack's Insanity

_**IX Even More of Zack's Insanity**_

_**81. Steal a superior's credit card. go crazy.  
**_

Angeal never left it laying around again.

_**82. Cross-dress. see how many people you fool.  
**_

"I can't believe I let you talk me into doing this..."

"Well I gotta admit Cloud, you make a great girl!"

Cloud groaned, and swore he was never cross dressing again...

_**83. Walk up behind people, put your hands on their shoulders, and pretend to be in a conga line. **_

A lot of people actually got in on it, and after they walked around the ShinRa building they went outside and took it to the streets of Midgar.__

_**84. Ask random people what they think brain farts smell like.  
**_

There were various answers, but Zack agreed with Kunsels: They obviously smell like whatever you're thinking about!

_**85. Voice over things that happen around you. (Meaning announce them as they happen, like play by play)  
**_

"Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class spots his next victim as he hides behind a planet in the ShinRa lobby. His victim, Cloud Strife, seems tense. Has Zack been noticed? Will he abort his mission? No, HE ATTACKS!"

And so Zack suddenly jumped out from his hiding place and assaulted his friend with silly string.

_**86. Make your superiors paranoid about aging through various methods.**_

"Hey Angeal I have a question"

Angeal sighed. All he wanted was a nice quiet afternoon with a book, but now it didn't look like it was gonna happen.

"What is it now Zack?"

"How old are you?"

He chose his answer carefully.

"Old enough"

But Zack wasn't done.

"Did you grow up without Mako energy?"

"What?"

"Just trying to figure out if you lived back in the dark ages when there wasn't any Mako Reactors or not"

Angeal just sighed and tried to get back to his book.

"Is that a gray hair?" Zack asked as he pointed to his scalp.

"I doubt it Zack"

"Well ok, but you know how it is for some people; one gray hair, then the next thing you know you're either bald or look like Sephiroth"

After that, Angeal began looking for any gray hairs daily when Zack wasn't looking.

_**87. **_ _**Mess With Angeal.**_

Angeal was really getting worried. When he got up in the morning he made his coffee as usual, then went to get the mail. When he came back the pot was empty, and Zack was nowhere to be found. It wasn't difficult to do the math, but that was five hours ago, and who knows what Zack had done by now, but that was Zack's plan you see, he was just hiding under his bed, watching as Angeal slowly fell apart...

_**88. Make the enemy think you're insane**_

It was actually done by accident when he drank some highly caffeinated coffee before going to Wutai. The Wutai troops all thought he was crazy, on drugs, or both.

_**89. Play cops and lock people in the closet and say it's a jail**_

Zack also discovered that he could fit twenty three infantrymen in a supply closet.

_**90. TP the Shinra building**_

Zack, Kunsel, and Reno pulled an all nighter one Halloween to pull it off, and ever since then the three had all conveniently been sent on missions far away from Midgar in late October.

_**Author's Notes**_

81-86: **QueenOfTheYaoi**

87-88: Me

89-90: **Victoria Valentine **


	10. X More Things Zack Shouldn't Do Again

_**X More Things Zack Shouldn't Do Again **_

_**91. Stare at a pencil for an hour for no reason **_

"What are you doing now Zack?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Staring at a pencil for no apparent reason"

"Exactly"

"But why?"

"I don't really know..."

_**92. Mess with Sephiroth's hair**_

Zack had really crossed the line this time. One night he had once again snuk into Sephiroth's apartment, and braided the SOLDIER's hair while he was asleep, but that wasn't all. He tied it with a bright neon pink ribbon he had found, and in the girliest bow he could...Then actually glued it on.

When morning came, Angeal found a rather angry looking Sephiroth standing outside their door with his sword already drawn waiting for Zack.

"Where is he?" he demanded.

Unfortunately for him Zack had conveniently left for a mission out of town, but Angeal knew that one of these days Sephiroth was going to snap, go insane, and try and kill Zack...

_**93. Try and balance a person on your head.**_

Zack failed miserably, and was pretty sure he broke something. __

_**94. Dress in a moogle suit. stand in one place like a British soldier without moving.**_

A few people passing by stopped and stared for a moment, and a lot of Midgar tourists took pictures and posted them online. Zack of course tagged himself in them when he could. __

_**95 Decapitate barbie dolls. put a speaker in the heads, plant them in random spots, and say "why ken why?" when people walk by.**_

And that's how Zack found out that Genesis was afraid of Barbies.__

_**96. Say "That's what she said" whenever someone makes a comment.  
**_

"_Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess. We seek it thus, and take to the sky. Ripples form on the water's surface. The wandering soul knows no rest."_

"That's what she said" Zack replied pointing at Sephiroth when Genesis was done reciting _LOVELESS._

"Excuse me?" Sephiroth said with a glare.

"Well you DO kind of look like a girl..."

Angeal slowly began to back away not wanting to be near Zack, while Genesis just sat there with a bowl of popcorn.

_**97. Do the robot while you walk.**_

It actually proved to be quite challenging, but he eventually mastered it, and moved on to something more advanced: Doing the robot while he fought. __

_**98. Blackmail someone into doing something for you.  
**_

"No way!"

"Oh come on Cloud! He's not even in there right now!"

"I don't care! Going into Sephiroth's office is suicidal enough, but taking Masamune is asking to be killed five times over!"

Zack sighed, but he knew one way he could convince Cloud to do this for him.

"Well alright, I guess I'll just upload these on my facebook then" he said pulling out the pictures from the day he and Cloud cross dressed, but only Cloud was in them.

"You wouldn't" Cloud said now completely pale.

"I'll tag you too"

With that Cloud quickly dashed into Sephiroth's office.

"Works every time..." Zack said to himself.

_**99. Crawl on your stomach and eat milkweed to imitate an inch work. **_

"Are you sure he's not on drugs?" Genesis asked Angeal as they watched Zack crawl on by.

"Sometimes I wonder..."

_**100. Come up with a list of a hundred things to do when you're bored**_

"Are you done yet?" Angeal asked Zack.

"Nope" Zack said while smirking.

Angeal groaned, and began hitting his head on the wall.

_**Author's Notes**_

Whoo I made it to 100! And it's all thanks to you guys! If none of you had reviewed and given me suggestions and ideas I would probably only be on chapter 4, so thank you ^_^

91:**Victoria Valentine **

92, 100: Me

93-99: **QueenOfTheYaoi**


	11. XI Zack's Useless Skills

_**XI Zack's Useless Skills**_

_**101. Stick pencils up your nose and call yourself a walrus  
**_

The only problem with this was that Zack only could smell wood and eraser for a while, and he hated it.

_**102. Eat soup with a fork  
**_

"For god's sake Zack just use a spoon like normal people!"

"I don't wanna" he wined.

He didn't like the soup anyway.

_**103. Have a conversation with an owl  
**_

"Zack, I think it's time to go see another doctor"

"Again?" he wined. "But why?"

"Because you were talking to an owl"

"So? He was telling me this great story"

_**104. Sing the song "There ain't to bugs on me" to random people **_

"But there ain't no bugs on me!" he finished as Genesis walked by.

"There better not be..." Genesis muttered.

He stayed away from Zack just to be safe though.

_**105. Attach a large mirror to the ceiling stand underneath it looking up and spin in circles  
**_

When Angeal came home and saw his apprentice wobbling around the room and then collapsed on the floor he thought he was drunk again, but he was just dizzy. VERY dizzy.

_**106. Act completely normal all day and see how paranoid people get  
**_

Angeal was getting worried. All day Zack had acted so...Perfect. No pranks or antics, no wines or complaints...Just completely normal. You would think that Angeal would be glad, but the way he saw it he was either laying low and planning something big, or he and Zack were both insane so everything just SEEMED normal. That day, he took himself to see a doctor.

_**107. Pretend to be the boogie monster in someone's closet  
**_

From the moment Sephiroth walked into his apartment he knew something was off. Everything was in it's rightful place, but something just wasn't right...

A few hours later when he tried to get to sleep Zack suddenly jumped out of his closet and roared. He was not amused.

_**108. Try to juggle jello  
**_

It was actually easier than you would think, and when he threw one up into the air he found out it could stick to the ceiling. Unfortunately a moment later Sephiroth walked by, and it landed on top of his head.

_**109. Learn to walk with your feet tied together  
**_

Angeal actually didn't mind that one 'cause he figured it would become useful if he was ever captured. However one day when Genesis got annoyed with him, tied him up, and shoved him in a closet he was able to get out without getting free.

_**110. Put a rubber snake in everyone's beds **_

After a few times in a row everyone just ignored it, so he decided to mix it up a bit and put a real snake (harmless of course) in Angeal's bed. He was not amused.

_**Author's Notes**_

Sorry it took a bit, but I've been getting some frequent block on these lately for the past few chapters. However I've already started on the next one so hopefully it won't be to long. Just so you guys know I'm not sure how long this is going to be, so for now let's see if I can get to 200 (it won't be more than 500).

101-104: **Victoria Valentine101 **(103 is a little tribute to _The Guardians of Ga'Hoole_)

105-110: **Sunny Lighter**


	12. XII Even More Things Zack Shouldn't Do A

_**XII Even More Things Zack Shouldn't Do Again **_

_**111. Sing the most annoying song in the universe all day long **_

"So I put my hands up, they're singing my song, the butterflies fly away!"

"Do you have any duct tape with you?" Sephiroth asked Angeal as he restrained his temper.

_**112. Pwn people at your own game (meaning play final fantasy 7)  
**_

"That's cheating!" Cloud half wined as he watched Zack play FFVII. "You can't use cheat codes to play as yourself instead of me AND put Sephiroth in your party!"

"You're just jealous that I have more fan girls than you do"

_**113. Imitate people in a mocking fashion. act like them, wear their clothes, use their weapons, the works.  
**_

When Genesis couldn't find his red trench coat and sword, he naturally suspected Zack.

_**114. Confess your undying love for the first person you see.  
**_

"This is all your fault!"

"What are you talking about?"

Zack tried to think back over the past few days trying to figure out what he did to make Genesis so mad. The only thing he could think of was when he glomped him suddenly and confessed his fake love a few days ago, but he did see how that could make him so pissed off. Then Genesis flipped open his laptop to reveal some very disturbing yaoi fan art.

"...That's just not right"

_**115. Stick a cat in someone's pants  
**_

One of Zack's neighbors was a crazy old cat lady, and had the meanest cat he had ever seen. So one timw when she was away she asked Zack to watch over her cat, and well, Zack took it to work and shoved it into Reno's pants when he wasn't looking. When he saw him again later his clothes were completely shredded, and he had scratches all over him.

_**116. Prank call your boss  
**_

"President Shinra here"

"Yes are all of Midgar's reactors running?"

"Yes"

"Good luck catching up to them"

_**117. Tie a stick of meat to the ceiling fan  
**_

"Once again, why?" Angeal asked.

"I'm collecting flies."

"To get rid of them I hope"

"Nope"

_**118. When traveling somewhere say "Are we there yet?" every 5 seconds  
**_

After two minutes Zack ended up with his mouth duck taped shut and his hands tied behind his back so he couldn't take it off.

_**119. Empty a fish tank into a bath tub and go scuba diving **_

He had flippers, a snorkel, and even an oxygen tank. He also surprised Angeal when he came in to wash his hands.

_**120. Jump on Cloud's back and yell "Go chocobo!" **_

After scaring the crap out of him, Zack and his "Chocobo" ran around the building.

_**Author's Notes**_

Well I got this chapter done, but I need three more to complete the next one (more if you want me to continue after words) and I also go back to school tomorrow so the updates may get a bit slower anyway.

112-114: **QueenOfTheYaoi**

111, 115-119: **Sunny Lighter**

120: **Victoria Valentine101**


	13. XIII More Things Not To Be Repeated

_**XIII More Things Not To Be Repeated  
**_

_**121. Decorate a car to make it look like a hotdog  
**_

Cloud helped him, and regretted it when Zack somehow came back temporarily from the lifesteam and did the same thing to his motorcycle overnight.

_**122. Shoot watermelon seeds at people through a straw**_

After hitting Cloud a few times his friend finally got annoyed enough to fire back at him, and the battle began...

_**123. Have an epic nerf battle**_

For once it wasn't Zack v.s. Some infantrymen, just a friendly match with Zack and Kunsel against two Third Class SOLDIERS.

"You're aim is terrible" Kunsel commented as he and Zack fired from behind a rock and kept missing their targets by about 6-8 inches.

"Oh like you're doing any better"

A bit later Kunsel charged out, and got shot so he fell to the ground dramatically since he was "dead".

"Don't worry Kunsel I'll avenge you!"

Zack charged out and fired two small nerf guns and managed to "kill" one of his opponents, but the other one pulled out the nerf machine gun, and he got hit in the face by ten nerf bullets.

"Some First Class you are" Kunsel comments while they both laid down on the ground "dead".

"Hey I get points for trying!"

_**124. Try your hand at baking  
**_

Angeal knew something was terribly wrong when he came home and saw that the kitchen door was closed. Then he heard a loud crash.

"Zack, is everything ok in there?"

"Yeaheverything'sfinejustdon'tcomeinhererightnow!"

Of course that made him come in, and what he saw was horrifying. Half the room (and Zack) was covered in flour, and somehow the oven had caught on fire.

"I told you not to come in here…"

_**125. Learn to be a firefighter  
**_

Well, after the baking disaster he did have to put out the fire...

_**126. But fake vomit in someone's shoe  
**_

"Angel help me!" Zack shouted as he ran from Genesis and hid behind his mentor.

"What did you do now?"s

"He put vomit in my shoe!"

"It's fake I swear!"

_**127. Put on a play with only yourself acting out all the parts**_

Genesis was actually impressed when Zack was able to pull off the entire play off _Loveless _by himself, and it actually entertained most of the ShinRa employees.

_**128. Buy all the hamsters, bunnies, gu**__**inea pigs, and mice from every pet store you can find and conquer the world with fuzzy cuteness**__**  
**_

When he told Aerith about his plan she agreed to be his partner in crime.

___**129. Spy on people through a newspaper, they'll never suspect a thing**__**  
**_

Everyone at ShinRa knew it was his because they could still see his hair.

___**130. Give **__**a monkey a bath**_

Angeal had not expected to see his apprentice the bathtub bathing a monkey of all things, and he really didn't know what to say.

"Hey" was all Zack said.

Angeal just told him to clean up any mess that he made, then left.

_**Author's Notes**_

Well here's the next chapter, but not only is my computer pretty much dying of virus infection, but I don't have ANYTHING for the next one. Musical practice also starts up on the 17th, and if I get a part that means I'll only be able to write during the weekends 'til late March, however if I don't get a part I just may not do it (I'm tired of plain old boring stuck in the back chorus). Still, I want this part so please pray or cross your fingers or what ever you do that I get it.

121-122: **Victoria Valentine101**

123 actually happened on Christmas (me as Zack, my cousin Edward as Kunsel, and various other cousins as our opponents) **  
**

124-130: **Sunny Lighter**


	14. XIV Zack's Not So Bright Ideas

_**XIV Zack's Not So Bright Ideas**_

_**131.**_ _** Play mad scientist while making your lunch  
**_

Angeal just stared at his apprentice while making his cup of coffee. A few minutes ago Zack just waltzed in the kitchen wearing a white lab coat and a pair of goggles (He wasn't going to ask where he got them) then got out the ingredients for a sandwich.

Seems pretty normal, right? Wrong. He acted like each ingredient was a dangerous chemical, and occasionally laughed like an mad scientist. Angeal thought he was high on Goddess knows what, and shuddered at the thought of what it would be like if Zack was Hojo's apprentice.

_**132. Walk around town in a giant peanut costume  
**_

Enough said.

_**133. Go 'Home Alone' (the movie) on your neighbor's house  
**_

"That just not fair!"

It had taken hours for Zack to set it all up in Sephiroth's apartment, but the silver haired SOLDIER had gotten through it all in minutes completely unscathed.

_**134) Stick a bra in the freezer  
**_

All Angeal wanted was to have a normal day, but when Zack wasn't he couldn't even have a normal moment. When he went to go get an ice-cream bar from the freezer he found something completely unexpected: A bra.

"Zack?"

Zack came in when he heard his name called, and saw his mentor holding the now frozen bra by one of the straps with two fingers as if he didn't want to touch it.

"Oh thanks I've been looking for that"

He took it before Angeal could say a word, and walked off.

_**135. Find a new way to use duct tape**_

Duct tapping the door of Genesis' office shut from the inside was fun, especially when he watched him try and get in.

_**136. Try jumping off the building with an umbrella.  
**_

He put a mattress on the ground so he wouldn't break anything, but Angeal still banned him from doing it again. However he didn't say anything about jumping out of moving helicopters on to moving trains.

_**137. Only eat the jelly out of a donut.  
**_

Angeal swore he got himself a jelly donut in the morning. When he came home that night from work the donut was still there untouched, but there wasn't any jelly in it, it was just a regular donut…

_**138. Pay hopscotch on your hands.  
**_

The challenges between Zack and the infantrymen had been growing more and more practical lately. When they challenged him to a game of hopscotch outside, he accepted and powned them all by showing off.

_**139. Go fishing on the roof of the building, and see what you can catch.**_

The hard part was finding some finishing line that was long enough for the 69 floors of the ShinRa building, catching was easy: He caught Genesis with a new copy of _Loveless, _a few random kids with some candy, Yuffie with some rare Materia (she got away), Cloud with some gil, and Aerith with some flowers (He kept that one).

_**140. Try to find something you lost.**_

Angeal sighed as he flipped open his phone and read what was on the screen: _One new message from Zack._ Thinking it was important, he read it:

_Mass text: Has anyone seen my pants?_

_**Author's Notes**_

131-135: **Sunny Lighter**

136-139: **Victoria Valentine101**

140: Me**  
**


	15. XV Zack's Even Less Bright Ideas

_**XV Zack's Even Less Bright Ideas **_

_**141. make the world's biggest pyramid, cheerleader style  
**_It was simple: The infantrymen were all at the bottom as the base, then the Third Classes were above them, followed by Second, and then Zack at the very top striking a hero like pose. Unfortunately, Cloud sneezed, and it all went down hill from there. _**  
142. Invent your own superhero  
**_"It's a bird, it's a helicopter! No it's Mr. Awesome!" Zack shouted as he jumped out wearing a red cap and black mask over his uniform.

"You couldn't think of a better name than Mr. Awesome?" Cloud asked.

"And his side kick Chocabo Boy!"

"Me and my big mouth" he muttered to himself.

_**143. Play a boom box at full volume in the library  
**_Needless to say Zack was kicked out and banned from the library afterwords._**  
144. Dye someone's hair green, and glue cat ears on their head  
**_Genesis was not happy, and Zack once again spent the day running for his life (he was getting rather well at it). _**  
145. Booby trap your superiors' favorite item **_

Angeal had one rule: Don't touch his Buster Sword. Of course, Zack didn't listen. So one morning when he picked it up where it was leaning against the door a string suddenly yanked the door open which made the bucket full of water fall down on to him.

"Wow it actually work"

Angeal only glared at him.

"I should probably be running shouldn't I?"

"Yes"

_**146.**_ _** Have a wheelbarrow race  
**_"Go faster Cloud! We can't let the Turks beat us!"

"I'm trying!"_**  
147. Run frantically down the beach  
**_Zack was just happy to finally get an uninterrupted vacation at Costa Del Sol. _**  
148. Attach a video camera to a remote control car. Spy around!**_

And so Zack, Kunsel, and Reno all crowded around a laptop as the camera entered the girls bathroom.

_**149. Purposely mistake someone's identity **_

"Look its Gackt!" Zack shouted as he pointed at Genesis.

"What?" Genesis asked as he looked up from his book of _Loveless._

And then he was running for his life from an army of fangirls that came out of no where.

"I'll get you for this Fair!"

_**150. Have an epic pillow fight.**_

"And HOW did you dislocate your shoulder?" Angeal asked.

"In a pillow fight…"

_**Author's Notes**_

Well, I failed the dance part of the audition miserably, but I did way better on the vocal part than last time (take that stage fright!) but I didn't get a call back…

141-145: **Sunny Lighter**

146-148: **The Fallen Angeal24**

149-150: Me (150 actually happened to a classmate two years ago)


	16. XVI More of Zack's Bad Ideas

_**XVI More of Zack's Bad Ideas**_

_**151. See how many stuff you can balance on your nose.  
**_

Angeal walked in the room to see his apprentice laying on the living room carpet with a book, various plates and cups (all plastic thank the Goddess), and a fork all stacked up on his nose.

"Oh Angeal great timing! Can you hand me my sword?"

_**152. Drink soda while standing on your head.  
**_

The result was not pretty.

_**153. Eat peanut butter threw a straw.  
**_

The problem was it kept getting stuck in the straw, so he took one of those edible cookie flavored straws, dipped it in the peanut butter, and ate it that way.

"Why don't you just take another one and do the same with jell?" Angeal commented sarcastically observing Zack's actions in the kitchen.

"That's actually a good idea, thanks Angeal!"

Angeal just face palmed, and walked away.

_**154. Try to stand out by wearing the biggest hat you can find.**_

All the villagers stared when they saw Sephiroth walk into Nebelheim, along with two infantrymen, and another First wearing a giant bright red cowboy hat.

_**155. Chase the Icecream Truck**_

_****_Never underestimate the power of Zack on a very hungry Chocabo (Also known as Cloud Strife)

_**156. Participate in an amateur kick boxing match**_

Yet another challenge from the infantrymen, that Zack completely powned. _****_

157. Throw a tomato into a fan

All Genesis wanted to do was stop by Angeal's apartment to pick up his copy of Loveless that he forgot. What he didn't count on was Zack Fair to be bored, and randomly deciding that it would be a good idea to see what happened when you threw a tomato into a fan, so when he walked in he got spayed with tomato juice. _**  
**_

"...Oops..."

_**158. Make fake food out of play-doh.**_

The problem? Zack got really hungry, and thought about eating them.

_**159. Discover a conspiracy**_

"And THAT'S how president Shinra was really killed"

"Zack, there's no actual proof that it was Jenova"

_**160. Make it snow**_

Never underestimate the power of Zack and Blizzard Materia.

_**Author's Notes**_

Sorry it took a while. I went to a con last weekend, and left my camera there, so for a few days I felt like a complete idiot and went a little emo, and it still hasn't turned up (I'm starting to think someone snatched it). Then some days I just didn't feel like writing or had some block, but then I realized it's almost been two weeks since I updated this, so I finished it up. The next chapter is almost done, but I need two more ideas/suggestions to complete it.

151-154: **Victoria Valentine101**

155-158: **The Fallen Angel24 **

159-160: **Sunny Lighter**


	17. XVII Zack the Puppy

_**XVII Zack The Puppy**_

_**161**_. _** Find out how much coffee it takes to make a person go completely wacko**_

Zack didn't really need to drink any coffee...

_**162. Jump rope with someone's hair  
**_

Well, Sephiroth's hair WAS long enough.

_**163. Dye all of an emo's clothes pink**_

"**ZACK!"**

Cloud could look over the things that Zack had done to him, even decorating Fenrir like a hotdog, but dyeing all his clothes hot pink while he was sleeping? That was WAY over the line.

"If you weren't already dead I'd kill you"

He could hear his voice in his head again laughing at him too.

_**164. Make someone's life a living hell**_

All Angeal wanted after he died was some nice peace and quiet, and he got it. Then Zack died, and he knew he would have to deal with him for an eternity, literally.

_**165. Bedazzle something**_

_Angeal, tell your "puppy" that he owes us new trench coats, or there will be hell to pay._

_-Genesis and Sephiroth_

_**166. Get a puppy**_

"Plllllleeeeeeaaasse?"

"No"

"Oh come on Angeal! We can't just put a poor little puppy out in the cold!"

Zack began to give him mentor his irresistible puppy dog eyes, then actually picked up the puppy he found for extra effect.

"Fine..."

_**167. Train a puppy**_

"So let me get this straight" said Genesis. "Your 'puppy' now has a puppy"

"Yes" Angeal told his friend.

"And how is that working out, training two puppies at once?"

_~Later that day~_

Angeal was trying to have some quiet time with a book, but Zack's puppy (Now named Shadow) was running around the house, and Zack counting his squats was distracting him. Finally, he had enough.

"Sit" he commanded.

He couldn't help smirking in amusement when both Shadow and Zack stopped and sat down.

_**168. Ruin an epic moment**_

When Zack fought Sephiroth in Nebelheim, and heard One winged Angel playing somewhere in the background, his first thought was _Where the heck is this awesome music coming from? _But then he listened to it some more, and it got catchy so he started to sing along.

"There's frogs in Paris! Jingle bells, ham and Cheese! There's frogs in Paris! Jingle bells,

ham and Cheese! SEPHIROTH!"

Even Sephiroth paused for a moment and stared at him.

_**169. Cover your boss's office in chocolate  
**_

President ShinRa got a bit of a surprise one Monday morning. He never suspected it was the same person who prank called him a few weeks ago.

_**170. Tar and feather a bad guy **_

Rude slept like a rock, and Reno volunteered to help him.

_**Author's Notes**_

I know _One Winged Angel _is really in Latin, but read 168 while playing it and it does sound like that. _**  
**_

161-163, 169-170: **Sunny Lighter**

164-168: Me


	18. XVIII Even More Chaos At ShinRa

_**XVIII Even More Chaos At ShinRa**_

_**171. **_ _**Find a way to annoy someone with a flashlight  
**_

Don't underestimate Zack with his ability of shadow puppets and sound effects.

_**172. Find a way to scare Sephiroth **_

Sephiroth was starting to panic. He had been gone from his office for ten minutes, and in that ten minutes Masamune had disappeared. That sword was like his child, and he tore his office apart looking for it. When he didn't find it he almost tore the entire ShinRa building apart, and Zack just sat back with a bag of popcorn and watched it all happen...

_**173. Put together a 'hunk of the month' calendar**_

Zack, naturally was in it frequently.

_**174. Play truth or dare with the infantrymen.**_

"Alright Cloud, truth or dare"

"Truth" he said deciding to play it safe.

"Chicken"

"Fine," he said with a groan "dare"_**  
**_

He had a feeling that he was going to regret this...

"I dare you to patrol the streets in only your underwear and helmet"

Yep, he was regretting it already.

_**175. See how many gummy worms you can fit in your mouth.**_

He got to about twenty five, and could fit a few more if he tried to, but he realized that he was gonna have to eat them all...__

_**176. Make butter socks and slide around a room.**_

Angeal said he wasn't allowed to slide around on the floor anymore, but he wasn't real specific as to HOW he couldn't slide around.__

_**177. Act like a bird for a day.**_

Getting a parachute (made out of his bed sheet) and jumping off the ShinRa building had never been son fun.

_**178. Play Birth By Sleep**_

"Yes!"

"What is it Zack?" Aerith asked him.

"I'm finally in a Kingdom Hearts game! I'm not as hot though..."

Aerith rolled her eyes, then sat down and watched him play as Aqua through the coliseum. Then came the cut scene where he asked her out...

"Zack!"

"Hey don't blame me! Blame Square, they're the ones who put it in there AND killed both of us off!"

_**179.**_ _**Fill a confetti ball with spaghetti **_

He actually ended up making a whole bunch of them, then had a fight with them against Kunsel and Cloud.

_**180. Prank call your boss (again) **_

"President ShinRa speaking"

"IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!"

_**Author's Notes**_

I'm not really sure why, but this suddenly became extremely popular. This is now the story of mine with the most hits AND reviews, so thank you!

171-172, 179-180: **Sunny Lighter **(A friend pulled 180 on me once)

173: **mizperceived**

174-177: **Victoria Valentine101**

178: **Ventus4ever**


	19. XIX Complicated Things

_**XIX Complicated Things **_

_**181. Write fanfiction about your friends.**_

Well, he had to do SOMETHING in the lifestream.

_**182. Find your puppy (Shadow) a mate  
**_

"Angeal I have some news"

"What kind of news?" he asked guessing this couldn't be very good.

"Uh, well...Ya'know that girl across the street?"

He instantly assumed the worst.

"You got her pregnant didn't you?"

"WHAT? No! She's not even my time" He said turning bright red. "But um, well Shadow and her dog Thunder kinda got together, and well, she's gonna have puppies"

"...Great."

_**183. Teach Shadow some tricks  
**_

"Aw, come on Angeal!"

"No"

"I'm just asking to keep ONE of her puppies, just one I swear!"

"No"

He was not going to have to deal with three puppies in the house, he would go insane.

"Oh Shadow!" Zack called, and Angeal knew he was up to something.

Of course she came running towards them with her tail wagging.

"Sit" Zack told her, and she did.

"Good girl, now beg"

And so she looked up at Angeal with huge cute puppy dog eyes and whimpered softly.

"You know you can't say 'no' to that face" Zack said as he made his own puppy dog eyes.

"...Fine..."

Those puppy dog eyes were gonna be the death of him one of these days.

_**184. Go and stalk all your friend on their social networks.  
**_

He got excited when he found out Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth were all on Facebook, but quickly found out that they were those people who never got on. So he posted on their walls three times a day about the most ridiculous stuff. Then a few months later, he was suddenly unfriended and blocked.

_**185. Learn to cook a Pizza  
**_

He begged Angeal to let him try it, and he finally agreed to let him, but under his supervision with a fire extinguisher at hand.

_**186. Try to figure out the women mind  
**_

Even being a ladies man, he still didn't understand them that well. He asked Angeal, but he was just as clueless as he was. He figured it was probably one of the world's mysteries that was never going to be solved.

___**187. Build a time machine **__**  
**_

The only problem was he didn't really know what he was doing when he built it, so when he tried to turn it on, it caught on fire, then exploded.

_**188. Try to learn another language  
**_

Since he was in Wutai for a while during the war, so he figured he would try and pick up their native language.

_**189. Surprise your friends with your wisdom in this new language you learned.**_

"Is there something you need Fair?" Tseng asked when Zack approached him suddenly.

He meant to say "Have you seen my new pants?" but it unknowingly came out "I need to get into your pants"

_**190. Fill your boss's car with grape jelly**_

When it was all cleaned out he filled it again, but this time with peanut butter.

_**Author's Notes**_

Just so you guys know Shadow and Thunder are my dad's dogs, but their not in love or anything though.

181: **Ventus4ever**

182-189: **MikoAucarod **

190: **Sunny Lighter**


	20. XX Some More Not Bright Ideas

_**XX Some More Not Bright Ideas**_

_**191. Create your own website**_

His many fangirls were very happy. _**  
**__**  
**__**192. Create slime in the science lab then make it explode**_

He had to look up how to make slime on the internet, then once that was done and made he just started added random chemicals to it to see what happened. When Hojo came back to his lab after his lunch break it was completely destroyed, and he had no idea what happened._**  
**__**  
**__**193. Stick a smoke bomb in the toilet**_

No one went into that bathroom for weeks._**  
**__**  
**__**194. Don't wear deodorant on a hot day and see how many people notice**_

Angeal nearly passed out from the smell when Zack came out of the training room.

"When was the last time you took a shower?" he asked trying not to breath in.

"Yesterday"

"Well go take one now"

_**195. Go to a water park with close friends**_

It was great, especially since Aerith came with them and wore her bikini.

_**196. Play mini golf in the office.**_

"Four!" Zack shouted as he sent the ball flying and nearly hit Angeal in the face as he walked in.

_**197 .Make up your own religion.**_

Well, since dozens if not hundreds of fangirls already worshiped him, why not make it official?

_**198. Go on a silly string rampage.**_

His victim (Cloud) kept running away from him, but he continued to give chase and fire at him, glad that he filled his book bag with as many cans of silly string he could find. _**  
**__**  
**__**199. **__**Try taking off your sock without taking off your shoe.**_

He succeeded, but created a giant hole in the bottom of his sock in the process.

"Dang it!"

_**200. Answer every question with a question.**_

"Zack"

"Yeah?"

"Are you insane?"

"Do you think I'm insane Cloud?"

"Yes"

_**Author's Notes**_

Well I made it to 200, and I said we'll see what happens when I get there, and since you guys keep this going so strong I'll do at least another hundred.

191-194: **Sunny Lighter**

195-196: **The Fallen Angel24**

199: **Victoria Valentine101**

197-198,200: **Kaen Okami**


	21. XXI Zack Creates More Chaos

_**XXI Zack Creates More Chaos **_

_**201. Start a chocobo stampede. **_

It all started when Zack and Cloud paid a visit to a chocobo farm. Apparently a few of the female chocabos mistook Cloud for one of their own, and wanted to mate with him. Cloud tried to run away, but they got out and chased him.

_**202. Play the drums as loud as you can in the middle of the Shinra building. **_

Cloud, Reno, and Kunsel all got in one it, and pretty soon they had their own little ShinRa rock band. __

_**203. Skip instead of walking and sing instead of talking.**_

"I need to go to the BATHROOOM!" he sung loudly in a helicopter on the way back from a mission.

_**204. Give someone a pedicure**_

Ah, yes...The things he did for Aerith...__

_**205. Never make eye contact.**_

Sephiroth wasn't surprised considering he had been glaring at him all day.__

_**206. Never break eye contact. **_

"Quit looking at me!" Genesis shouted as he tried to get away, but just ended up being followed.

_**207. Go to a bar**_

Zack had been a real pain in the ass lately, and all Angeal wanted to do was have a few drinks. However when he walked into the bar he saw his apprentice standing on top of the bar with an imaginary microphone belting out the lyrics to "The eye of the Tiger" very badly as Cloud did air guitar.

"..."

They even had a crowed around them cheering them on as if it was a concert, and the bar tender took no notice having seen pretty much anything. He decided to go find another bar.

_**208. Tell a Story**_

"Zack I have a question" Cloud asked.

"Ok"

"How did you get Angeal to train you in the first place?"

"I said please"

"And it worked?" he asked knowing it couldn't have been that easy.

"Of course not"

~_A few years ago...~_

"_Please, please, please, PLLLLLLEEEEESSSEEE! Train me!" he begged as he hung onto Angeal's leg as he tried to get away from him._

"_Fine, just get off me!"_

_**209. Make a 'milkshake' in Hojo's lab. **_

Only problem was Hojo wanted to see what would happen if someone actually drank it.

_**210. Hug the 1st person you see. **_

"Good morning Seph!" he greeted him with a hug.

"You have two seconds to get off me before I stab you"

_**Author's Notes**_

201, 203, 205-206: **Kaen Okami**

202: **Victoria Valentine101**

207-208: Me

209-210:** randomdude206**


	22. XXII Insanity  Extreme Boredom

_**XXII Insanity + Extreme Boredom **_

_**211. Stick a pen in the white load of laundry **_

Suddenly the Turks didn't have white shirts anymore...The pen was found, but the criminal was smart enough to wear gloves so there was no finger prints.

_**212. Steal everyone's left sock **_

It was easy; he just told Yuffie that most people in ShinRa keep their rare items in their left sock, and the little annoying ninja went to work.

_**213. Go on a mission dressed like genesis. **_

Many people were confused when they saw Genesis and Zack-Genesis. Frankly Genesis was just glad it threw off the Gackt fangirls.

_**214. Run around Midgar in your undies while screaming "the splinter cell is real!" and holding bananas **_

The civilians all stared, mother's tried to keep their kids away from him, and people from ShinRa that saw him just shook their heads and moved on.

_**215. Get a replica of Angeal's buster sword and use when they train together and spar go get it and use it. (Hiding the original somewhere before hand). **_

Only problem was Angeal kept searching for it, and found it before their sparring match, so when he met Zack in the training room he was very confused.

"..."

"What I can't have an awesome bad ass sword too?"

_**216. Put a poster up announcing Cloud's engagement to Yuffie in 7th heaven **_

Cloud thought it was the work of Yuffie herself, but when he tore it down he found the message "Zack was here" written on the wall in sharpie.

"I should've known..."

_**217. Print a photo of Reno and stick it onto Tseng's chair with a note saying "I'm watching you" **_

He just ignored that one, but then years later after Zack had passed on to the lifestream he found a picture of him with the same note on the same chair. He was more than a little freaked out.

_**218. Insert pornographic images into genesis's copies of loveless **_

He actually didn't complain about that one.

_**219. Set Sephiroth's alarm to wake him in the middle of the night **_

At first he just thought it was a mistake he had made when he set it, so he turned it off and went back to sleep, but it was rigged to go off every five minutes after that. After ten minutes it faced the wrath of Masamune.

_**220. Appear in clouds bedroom in his underwear and scream when cloud walks in **_

"Can't you just stay in the lifestream?"

"But being dead is boring..."

_**Author's Notes**_

Ugh, I'm running out of creative chapter titles _ Also, I've been thinking about the whole Zack starts a band thing, and I might actually do an AU fic based on that full of drama, some angst, and romance stuff (No yaoi). Opinions?

211-212: **Sunny Lighter**

213-214: **Zerowing 206 **

215-220: **HazzaTL3**


	23. XXIII Even More Not So Bright Ideas

_**XXIII Even More Not So Bright Ideas**_

_**221. Pretend to fall asleep while being a mission **_

The Wutaiese soldiers didn't expect it, so he caught them completely off guard.

_**222. Get a copy of loveless and recite it to Sephiroth, when questioned say genesis was right this is a good play, **_

"Alright who are you and what have you done with Zack?"

_**223. Appear to cloud while out on a delivery and accuse of stealing Aerith's heart. **_

"When I said my dreams and honor were yours and told you to say 'hi' for me doesn't mean you can steal her!"

"Alright first off, I'm with Tifa, second, DON'T VISIT ME WHILE I'M ON MY MOTORCYCLE!"

_**224. Try to draw perfectly strait lines **_

When Angeal couldn't find his Buster Sword, he went straight to his apprentice.

"Zack swords are not to be used as rulers!"

_**225. Have a pie fight **_

Another purely accidentally started food fight by Zack that all came to an end when Sephiroth walked in and got hit in the line of fire.

_**226. Play the Jaws theme very loudly on a crowded beach. **_

Reno got the music going while Zack swam towards the beach making sure his hair was visible above the water to look like a shark's fin.

_**227. Mess with someone's car, motorcycle, helicopter, etc. **_

Cloud didn't like it at all. His Zack senses were tingling again, and after the pink clothes incident he REALLY didn't like what he found. So he went outside where Fenrir was parked, and found it spray painted pink and the handles decorated with little streamers like a girl's bike had.

_** a revolving door. **_

It was a lot harder than it sounds...

_** a friend as your minion **_

"Cloud, this is Kunsel. Kunsel, this is my minion/chocabo Cloud"

_**230. When your mentor is not around and his phone rings answer and act like an operator. **_

"Angeal's pants" he answered when Angeal was taking a shower. "No he's not in them right now"

_**Author's Notes**_

I keep forgetting to mention that **207** was a little tribute to **UltimateSpirt's **story **Porcupines, Chocobos, and the Effects of Mako.**

221-223: **HazzaTL3**

224-225: **Sunny Lighter**

226-227: **Kaen Okami **

228-229: **WeDidItForTheDead **

230: **FinalFanatic4**


	24. XXIV Bothering Seph and Cloud

_**XXIV Bothering Seph and Cloud**_

_**231. Use "Your Mama" jokes on friends **_

"What did you say about Mother?" Sephiroth said in a dark, murderous tone glaring at Zack with Masamune to his throat.

"Uh, Nothing! Nothing at all!"

-A few years later in the lifestream-

"Angeal, Aerith, Help me!" Zack shouted as he ran away from the three silver haired remnants that were chasing him.

"How dare you talk about mother that way!"

"You meanie!"

Angeal and Aerith simply just stood there and sweatdropped at the little scene.

_**232. Go to the Gold Saucer with Cloud and use him as a Chocobo in the races see what place you get**_

The problem was they had to dress him up in a convincing Chocabo costume (otherwise he wouldn't be let in) but the actual race was fairly easy considering all their practice with icecream trucks.

_**233. Steal, I mean "borrow", Sephiroth's "personal items" and sell them on Ebay, see how rich you get**_

He made a fortune, and all because Seph was a well known hero

_**234. Find Sephiroth walking home and scream at the top of your lungs, "LOOK! IT'S SEPHIROTH!"**_

And so he spent his energy running away from the army of fangirls after him, and tried his best to suppress the temptations to just make a few dozen fangirl shish kabobs. When he ducked into an alley to avoid them, he found Genesis was also hiding from the Gackt fangirls again.

"Fair?" he asked.

"Yes"

"I say we hunt him down later"

_**235. Annoy people who have strange hair color **_

"Is that your real hair color? Is it a wig? Are you just REALLY old?"

Sephiroth was not amused, and the thought of killing Zack so he could have some peace and quiet became more and more tempting each day...

_**236. Win the replica of Masamune at Speed Square in the Gold Saucer.**_

"I'm the one who won it!" Cloud told him as he grabbed it from Zack's hands. "I did all the work!"

"Yeah we'll I out rank you" Zack said, taking it back.

It was then that Cloud began to sulk in his little emo corner, which of course made Zack feel guilty.

"Fine, you can have-

"Thanks Zack" he said instantly recovering from his emoness and taking it from his friends hands before running off to the nearest computer to sell it on eBay.

_**237. Keep on calling Sephiroth "Sephi" until he threatens to summon Meteor on you. **_

Enough said.

_**238. Drink all of Sephiroth's coffee and tell him on of the infantry men drunk it. **_

He didn't believe him since he noticed how hyper Zack was.

_**239. Handcuff Genesis and Sephiroth together and tell them that Cloud has the key. Really, hide the key somewhere else. **_

"Cloud, give us the key" Sephiroth demanded, pointing Masamune at him.

"S-Sir, I honestly don't know what you're talking about" he said nervously.

_**240. Question Genesis' sexuality. **_

"Hey Genesis are you gay?"

"What?" he asked glancing up from _Loveless _once again. "No, and where did that even come from?"

"Well it's just...I've seen some things on the internet, and...yeah..."

_**Author's Notes**_

Over 100 reviews * Anime tears of joy* I'm so happy!

230-237: **Cinnamoroll9716**

238: **FinalFanatic4**

239-240: **halledean **


	25. XXV Some REALLY Not So Great Ideas

_**XXV Some REALLY Not So Great Ideas **_

_**241. Make Cloud feel uncomfortable.**_

"Hey Cloud I have a question"

"What is it now Zack?" he asked getting a little tired of his friend's visits from the lifestream.

"Well, ya'know how I busted you out of Hojo's lab and put you in a SOLDIER First Class uniform?"

"Yeah"

"Well I went through your pockets of your old clothes, and found a pair of girl's underwear. Wanna tell me what that was about?"

"…."

_**242. Terrify Cloud.**_

"**RUN!"**

Cloud nearly wet himself when Zack suddenly jumped on his back and told him to run for his life.

"**GOGOGO! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME!"**

Looking back and seeing a very angry looking Sephiroth coming towards them.

"What did you do?" he asked as he ran.

"I cut off a lock of his hair to sell to his fangirls, now just keep going!"

And That's what REALLY caused Sephiroth to snap and burn down Nibelheim.

_**243. Draw on Angeal's face while he sleeps.**_

He forgot that he took a shower in the morning, so it all got washed off before anyone saw it. Then he remembered that he had taken a picture of it, so he hacked into his mentor's facebook account, and put it as his profile picture. _****_

244. Draw in Genesis' copy of Loveless. Write 'Sephy was here' in the margins.

Again, Genesis didn't believe Sephiroth would actually do something like that, so he went after Zack.

_**245. Convince Cloud that anyone interested in becoming SOLDIER has to stand in the middle of the ShinRa lobby and loudly proclaim that Zack Fair is the greatest person they've ever met.**_

"Good, now do it with a megaphone so everyone can hear you"_****_

246. Pretend for a day that YOU are the mentor and Angeal is the apprentice. Take Angeal to a psychiatrist when he says otherwise.

Angeal took it as a message from Zack as pay back for all the times he took him to get checked for signs of insanity as well as various other things, so he stopped.

_**247. Sing 'Singing in the Rain', in the rain**_

As Angeal stared at him from a window he began rethinking about stopping to get Zack checked out…_****_

248. Stick a "kick me" sign on Sephiroth's back

No one dared to try it…Except for some stupid new infantryman that no one ever heard of again.

_**249. Steal all of Sephiroth's fangirls**_

Not many people liked him when he went insane and tried to destroyed the world.

_**250. Don't gel your hair, see everybody's reaction**_

Kunsel wouldn't believe him when Zack told him that his hair was naturally spiky and he didn't use much gel at all, so he had to prove it.

"See?" he said pointing at his hair. "No gel, still spiky"

Kunsel just stared mouth open wide, mentally cursing the Goddess for giving him such boring flat hair.

_**Author's Notes**_

Sorry it took so long, more computer problems -_-

241-246: **halledean**

247-248: **Sunny Lighter **

249: **Zerowing 206**

250: **Cinnomoroll9716 **


	26. XXVI Fun from the Lifestream and ShinRa

_**XXVI Fun from The Lifestream and ShinRa**_

_**251. Steal Yuffie's phone and send love messages to Tifa, then plant it in Cloud's desk for Tifa to find.**_

He was tired of seeing them not together, and Tifa thought it was sweet of Cloud.

_**252. Appear to Rufus claiming to be the ghost of Christmas past and he's there to scrooge him.**_

"Ruuuuuuuffuuuuuussss" Zack droaned as he walked though the wall of his bedroom completely freaking him out. "I have commme for you Rufus! Your company killed me, and now I will have you're soul!"

"No please! I can change I swear"

"Oh, ok then. Take care!" _****_

253. Appear to cloud saying he's back for good then when cloud finally believes say Aprils fool and disappear  


-In the lifestream-

"Zack!"

"Ow! Aerith you didn't have to hit me" he half wined.

"Go back down there and apologize before he goes all emo again!"

"Kay…."

_**254. Crawl up to Sephiroth as hrs about to open his office and apologize, then when Sephiroth opens the door look inside then back at him confused and say ."oh, they cleaned it up never mind"**_

Sephiroth did a thorough search on his office just to be sure.

_**255. Steal everyone's hairbrush/comb**_

Sephiroth had a mental breakdown when he couldn't get the tangles out of his hair in the morning.

_**256. Play ceiling-fan baseball.**_

Angeal caught them right before they started the game and stopped them, so they moved it to the training room and played baseball with their swords as bats and some grenades as the balls.

_**257. Auction items owned by Genesis, Sephiroth and/or Angeal on the open streets with a big crowd so neither of them can reach and stop you**_

He forgot that they could all fly.

_**258. Something involving a dangerous mission, alarm clocks and a very grumpy Sephiroth.**_

By the sixth day that Sephiroth spent in the underground library in the old ShinRa mansion, Zack was seriously getting bored. So he got a bunch of alarm clocks and hid them around the basement each set at every five minutes. Sephiroth couldn't concentrate, and Vincent couldn't sleep.

_**259. Test a magnet**_

"Zack?" Angeal asked.

"Yeah?"

"Why are standing in front of the fridge?"

"Yeah, Uh, I'm kinda stuck…."

Angeal facepalmed, and sighed.

"You can't move at all?" he asked.

"Oh no I can move" Zack said as he demonstrated by walking forward a few steps causing the fridge to open, then backing up to close it.

"Can you help me get off?"

"No, let this be a lesson to you" he said as he walked away.

"Wait no! Come on Angeal I really need to pee!"

A few minutes later he heard a loud crash from the kitchen, and went to investigate. He found Zack on the floor, with the door still stuck to him.

"Wow this IS a strong magnet"

_**260. Find out why Genesis really deserted. **_

Angeal had just been walking down a hallway, when he suddenly heard Genesis screaming and banging from a closet for someone to get him out. He did, and Genesis quickly shut and locked it behind him.

"I can't take any more of this Angeal" he told him. "You're little puppy locked me in a very tight space full of fangirls, I'm leaving ShinRa!"

_**Author's Notes**_

For anyone who's interested, **HazzaTL3 **is currently working on a tribute to this called **Failure to live **so please check it out!

251-254: **HazzaTL3**

255: **Sunny Lighter**

256: **Puck **

257: **Enyo-chan**

258: **Blooming Delirium **

259-260: Me ^_^


	27. XXVII The Chaos Continues

_**XXVII The Chaos Continues **_

_**261. Tie someone up and force them to watch girly anime**_

Cloud never wanted to watch Sailor Moon again, especially after Zack emailed him pictures of grown men cosplaying as the main character.

_**262. Wear glasses and see if anyone thinks you look smarter**_

Aerith told him he looked pretty good with them.

**263. **_**Say the word 'lady' after every sentence**_

"Is that clear Zack?" Sephiroth said coldly.

"Yes lady"

Naturally, he than started running for his life...Again.

_**264. Dance like an idiot in Lazard's office.**_

Well what do you expect? Angeal just told him that he had been recommenced for First Class after all.__

_**265. Steal someone's most precious item and hide it in your closet.**_

Angeal had one rule: Don't touch the Buster Sword. Naturally, being Zack, he broke that rule.

_**266. Replace all the pens in Lazard's office with pink glitter pens.**_

President ShinRa wondered why a few of the documents he received from him had Lazard's signature in light pink sparkly glitter, but just shrugged and moved on.

_**267. Appear to cloud saying he heard from Sephiroth he was set for promotion to 3rd after the Nibelheim mission**_

"Zack, could you do me a favor and tell Sephiroth to come back to life again some how so I can kill him again?"

"You sure that's a good idea Cloud?"

"This is about revenge, now go tell him!"

_**268. Tamper with clouds shampoo to make clouds hair turn black. Leave a note the next day he looks better with dark hair, very "Zack-like" **_

"**ZACK!"**

"Oh come on Cloud you could be my brother"__

_**269. Stick fake photos of cloud and Barrett's "gold saucer date" showing them kissing, round edge.**_

Barret went on a cursing rampage that would've made Cid proud when he saw it, and Marlene had some questions that neither one of them wanted to answer.__

_**270. Leave fake pictures of Sephiroth posing for a model shoot in Hojo's lab with a note saying he's quitting soldier to become a male model.**_

As his father he never had been so ashamed.

_**Author's Notes**_

Also, about 268, Cloud's hair was originally supposed to be black, but they changed it to blonde. Next chapter will be up tomorrow!_**  
**_

261-262: **Sunny Lighter **

263-265: **XYZZY **

266-270: **HazzaTL3**


	28. XXVIII More Fun from ShinRa and the Life

_**XXVIII More Fun from ShinRa and the Lifestream **_

_**271. Stick your own head over the "Sephiroth" soldier recruiting posters in Midgar.**_

_****_He was tired of Sephiroth getting all the hero credit and stuff, so he decided to do something about it. __

_**272. Get drunk and visit Angeal asking him to join him at the bar.**_

_****_Probably not the smartest idea since Angeal made him stay home afterwords.__

_**273. Buy a load of "cracked glass" stickers and stick them on random Windows throughout the Shinra building.**_

The problem was people actually thought they were really broken, and blamed Zack.

_**274. Go up behind Vincent Valentine and yell "OH MY GOD A VAMPIRE!" While throwing garlic at him.**_

He was either used to it, or just didn't care because he just rolled his eyes and walked away.

_**275. Steal Kunsel's helmet**_

"Give it back!" he yelled as he chased Zack around the building.

"Never!"__

_**276. Pour a bucket of tennis balls down the stairs**_

Very effective when you're being chased, but also funny to watch the infantrymen slip and fall.

_**277. Race slinkies down the Emergency Stairwell - all 60 flooors of 'em.**_

When Zack was late for his training session with Angeal, he went to look for him waiting for something at the bottom of the stairs with Kunsel.

"You're late Zack-

"Shhhh! They're almost here!"

He raised an eyebrow, then looked up towards the stairs and saw two metal slinkies coming down.

"How long have you been at this?" he asked as he shook his head.

"Just a few hours"

_**278. Haunt Cloud**_

Tifa raised an eyebrow when Cloud walked into the bar looking absolutely miserable and wondered what could've happened, but she couldn't see or hear Zack's ghost that had been constantly poking him and kept going on and on about the most random things without pausing.

_**279. Get other people to haunt Cloud with you**_

"Cloud, are you feeling alright?"

"Please just shoot me in the head Barret" he said as he was now being bothered by Zack AND the three remnants.

"You do realize that when you die you'll have to deal with us until the world ends" Zack pointed put.

"On second thought don't"

_**280. Mix it up a bit and haunt Vincent **_

"Cloud would you please tell you're little dead SOLDIER friend to leave me alone?"

"I can try, but I can't promise he'll listen"

_**Author's Notes**_

271-273: **HazzaTL3**

274: **vampireknight933**

275-276: **Sunny Lighter**

277: ?

278-280: Me


	29. XXIX Zack Creates Even More Chaos

_**XXIX Zack Creates Even More Chaos **_

_**281. Put springs on the inside of Hojo's door so when he opens it, the door bounces off the wall and smacks him in the face.**_

Dead didn't mean you couldn't get your revenge. _****_

baby chocobos in Cloud's room so they cover up all available space.

As soon as he walked in the room they all thought Cloud was their mommy. _****_

283. Get a hyper active puppy, put a collar on it with the name Zack, dress it in a miniature SOLDIER uniform complete with mini-sword and leave it in Angeal's room.

Angeal was really tired when he got home, so he thought he was seeing things. When it was still there after he rubbed his eyes and splashed some water on his face, he decided to call a friend.

"Genesis? Could you come over here and make sure I'm still sane?"_****_

284. Put hidden cameras around Genesis' office to record him slacking off work to read Loveless out loud. Post footage to ShinRa's company intranet.

They didn't really care, or as Zack put it, ShinRa spoiled the Firsts. _****_

285. Create chain mail that says the Turk's computers are infected with viruses. 

Of course the email itself contained a crap load of viruses.

_**286. Hack someone's facebook account and post something highly embarrassing **_

**Cloud Strife **is wearing a man thong.

Cloud deleted the post and his entire facebook after he saw it, but not before everyone else saw it.

_**287. Pull the chair away from under someone when they're about to sit down. **_

Cloud was getting really tired of Zack haunting him.

_**288. Make up a really long excuse that is confusing as heck, then create a situation where you can use it. **_

"You're late" Angeal told him when Zack showed up over an hour late for his training session.

"I'm really sorry Angeal, you see I was playing Final Fantasy XIII a few hours ago, which was REALLY bad, just like everything else since ten besides my game, but anyway then Cloud showed up because he got a wad of gum in his hair so I had to help him get it out, but then we were suddenly attacked by rabid fangirls so we had to run for our lives, and ended up hiding in Hojo's lab, so it's technically all his fault"

Zack always blamed everything on Hojo after that.

_**289. Put a realistic fake decapitated head in the fridge **_

Cloud almost wet himself when he went to get some leftovers on Halloween night, and instead found Aerith's head.

_**290. Change all of the Cloudy Wolf symbols on Cloud's clothing from wolves to platypus' **_

Cloud just removed them all and bought replacement wolf ones, but the next day Zack switched them with chocobos.

_**Author's Notes**_

Yes, I am one of those people that think FF has been going down hill since FFX (Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus being the only exceptions so far).

281-285: **Hidden By Shadow**

286, 289: **Sunny Lighter**

287-288: **Earth Magician **

290: **halledean **


	30. XXX The Chaos Continues Some More

_**XXX The Chaos Continues Some More**_

_**291. Put up posters announcing that Tifa is pregnant with Cloud's child. **_

Cloud was actually afraid that it was true.

_**292. Tell horror stories**_

Everyone at ShinRa knew all the horror stories about Hojo's lab, but when he got to the lifestream, he realized that not many people did. Who knew that a bunch of ghosts could get so scared.

_**293. Kiss someone Spider man style **_

After seeing the movie Aerith didn't believe something like that could happen, so she and Zack decided to try it out.

_**294. Be an emo for a day **_

"Ha ha very funny Zack" Cloud said sarcastically when he saw him moping in an emo corner wearing his clothes and a blonde spiky wig.

_**295. Put an 'out of order' sign on all the bathrooms.**_

All he wanted was some privacy, and a place to hide from Genesis and Sephiroth when he had to run for his life. _****_

296. Get rid of all the coffee in the building.

Zack was never let near any coffee ever again._****_

297. See how many shirts you can put on, after that see how many pants you can out on.

Modeohiem was really cold.

_**298. Put "please use other door" stickers on all the main doors to the ShinRa building and see how many people try to find another way in.**_

Cloud got very confused when he got to he building for the first time. _****_

299. Fill Sephiroth's office with a bunch of cute, fuzzy animals. 

Angeal raised an eyebrow when Sephiroth suddenly barged in the training room and started to drag his apprentice away, but he had a feeling it was to clean up another one of his pranks so he let him.

_**300. Sell Cloud on eBay. **_

The fangirls were very happy. Cloud wasn't.

_**Author's Notes**_

Ok, well I've gotten a couple complaints about me kinda bashing FF in the last chapter, and I really didn't mean it like that, so if I offended you I'm sorry. That was just my opinion, and I promise I won't bash anything from now on ok?

With that done and said, I'm moving on. I got to 300, but I'm kinda losing interest in this story. I like that you guys like it so much, and that's great, but I feel like it's distracting me from being able to work on my other fics. Now I'm not gonna stop right now, but I'm just saying I may not continue much longer, and my updates may get less frequent. For now, let's see how I am when I get to 350 ok?

291, 300: **halledean **

292: **Asuka Neko**

293-294: **Sunny Lighter**

295-297: **Victoria Valentine101**

298-299: **Klavieres**


	31. XXXI Bothering People and Making More Ch

_**XXXI Bothering People and Making More Chaos**_

_**301. Embarrass Tifa, and blame it on Cloud**_

When they were asleep Zack took a pair of Tifa's underpants, then nailed it to one of the walls of Seventh Heaven with the words "Cloud Strife was here" written on them in permanent marker. _****_

302. Put itching powder in Sephiroth's shampoo 

His reaction was priceless when Zack suggested that he could have hair lice.

_**303. Put different colored hair dye in the Turks shampoo.**_

Reno did NOT look good as a blonde, and had a breakdown about it._****_

304. Try to make Cloud feel better with a song.

He hadn't seen Cloud for a few days, so when he went to check up on him, he was naturally moping around his apartment being emo over who knows what. So instead of giving him another comfort speech, he just burst out into song.

"There is life outside your apartment. I know it's hard to conceive, but there's life outside your apartment, and you're only gonna see it if you leave"

_**305. Write lines from Loveless in the faces on people when they are asleep, tell them they got "Loveless illness" from hearing/quoting/reading too much Loveless **_

Naturally he wrote as much as he could fit on Genesis. _****_

306. Steal Genesis' copy of Loveless and get another book that looks the same. "Accidentally" drop/destroy the fake book infront of Genesis and run! 

Not the best idea, but he smart enough to run and hide.

_**307. Play darts**_

Angeal sighed when he walked into Zack's room and saw him throwing darts at various fruits and vegetables tied to the ceiling fan.

"Don't play with your food Zack" he told him.

"What are you my mom now?"_****_

308. Sing "Singing in the Rain", dance to it and hold up an umbrella - in the middle of the summer when it's sunny outside and not a cloud to be seen in the sky. 

His vacation on Costa Del Sol. WAS rather boring.

_**309. Experiment with sleep deprivation **_

It wasn't really an experiment, but he realized that Sephiroth spent six days straight without sleeping when he was in Nibelheim, then suddenly snapped and burned down the village when he took a lock of his hair...It couldn't be a coincidence.

_**310. Appear to cloud saying Yuffie has a hidden shrine to him and she prays to it whenever she can. **_

Of course after he told him that he went and made one so when he went looking for it it would actually be there.

_**Author's Notes**_

Yeah it looks like I will be wrapping up at 350 here, so if you have any more ideas I suggest getting them in soon.

303: **Hidden By Shadow**

304: Me (song from Avenue Q)

305-306: **Enyo-Chan**

307: Me

308: **Earth Magician **

301-302, 309: **Sunny Lighter**

310: **HazzaTL3**


	32. XXXII Yet Even More Chaos

_**XXXII Yet Even More Chaos **_

_**311. Steal Sephiroth's diary and post it online**_

_Day 5839,_

_Out of conditioner once more...I hate tangles_

_**312. Drop Yuffie in a tub of pudding**_

When Cloud told her that he was being haunted by Zack, she told him that she didn't believe in ghosts, so he had to prove it.

_**31**__**3. See what happens when c**__**asting Blizzard near a sewage pipeline will do.**_

Angeal sighed, and held his nose when Zack walked in the door covered in sewage goo.

"Do I even want to ask?"

"Probably not..."

"I assume you've learned your lesson here?"

"Yes..."

"Good, now go take a shower"

_**314. Have a 'Who can rig a larger explosion' contest to see how durable the walls of the Technology department are **_

Angeal was just walking around looking for Zack, knowing that he was most likely up something (His Zack senses were tingling again...) when he suddenly heard a loud explosion that shook the entire building. Naturally he went to investigate, and found Zack, Kunsel, Reno armed with many different explosives.

"Wow, not even a dent"

_**31**__**5. Get back at bullies through pranks and make them surrender**_

NO ONE wanted to mess with Zack Fair, or any of his friends afterwords.

_**31**__**6. Unleash a herd of hungry chocobos inside Shinra**_

It was amusing watching all the SOLDIERS and infantrymen trying to handle the situation, especially when a big chunk of them being chasing after Cloud.

_**31**__**7. Play Final Fantasy Dissidia and every time one of the characters says something say something stupid back.**_

"Open a new door" said Sephiroth.

"No!"

_**318. Shave off President ShinRa's mustache when he's sleeping and wear it the next day.**_

"Please tell me that's not what I think it is" Angeal said when he saw Zack in the morning.

"Ok then, I won't tell you"

_**319. Have an argument with Cloud**_

"Cloud seriously, quit being so emo"

"I'm not emo, I'm depressed"

"Like there's that much of a difference"

"Well there is. I'm depressed, Sasuke is emo"

_**320. Replace the pages of Genesis' copy of the play 'Loveless' with pages from the manga 'Loveless.'**_

"What on Gaia IS this?" he shouted at no one in particular since he was very disturbed.

_**Author's Notes**_

I haven't actually read the Loveless manga, but I've heard about it (It's yaoi right?). Speaking of Loveless (In FFVII) I'm going to Kawa Kon next weekend, and they've got this "So you think you're a geek" panel and have this most useless geeky knowledge contest at the end, so I'm going to memorize and recite Loveless just like Genesis XD, so wish me luck ^_^

In other news, please check out **TheFallenAngel24's "The Sky is Angry" **

311-312: **Sunny Lighter**

313: **DragonBlade00**

314: **BloodTrinity**

315: **Earth Magician **

316: ?

317: **FinalFanatic4 **

318-319: Me

320: **halledean**


	33. XXXIII Messing With Cloud

_**XXXIII Messing With Cloud **_

_**321. Fight over the Buster Sword**_

"I had it first!" Zack said.

"You're dead! What do need it for?"

"It doesn't matter? Do you know what'll happen if Angeal finds out you got all that wear, tear, and rust on it?"

And that's why Cloud removed it from Zack's grave, cleaned the heck out of it, and put it in Aerith's church.

_**322. When Tifa and Cloud have a child, go to the nursery and replace their newborn with chocobo chicks.**_

He thought replacing their child was a little overboard, so he just put the chicks next to the baby.__

_**323. Don't change your socks for a week and see what happens.**_

Since Zack thought he was only going going to be in Nibelheim for a day or two, he didn't bring extra socks, and naturally his feet REALLY stunk. Cloud begged him take them off for a while to let them air out (he was nearly gagging at the smell) so he did, but when he tossed them aside he wasn't paying attention to where he was throwing them, so one hit Cloud right in the face.__

_**324. Chase Cloud with a dirty Sock**_

"Get that thing away from me!" Cloud shouted as he ran around the village trying to get away from his friend.

The villagers just stared. __

_**325. While in Nibelheim, tell Tifa embarrassing stories about Cloud . . . in front of disguised Cloud. **_

"Hey Zack, do you know anyone in ShinRa named Cloud?"

"Cloud? Yeah sure" he said while glancing back at Cloud who looked somewhere between nervous and terrified.

"Really?" she asked.

"Oh yeah, chocabos really liked him"

Tifa raised an eyebrow at this, while Cloud groaned and facepalmed. __

_**326. Trap Cloud in a cage in the middle of the ShinRa lobby and post a sign that says, 'Do not feed the chocobo.'**_

Naturally no one forgot about it, and he was officially nick named 'The chocobo"__

___**327. Set things on fire. **_

When Angeal took his materia away again, he just got a flame thrower.

_**328. Appear to Denzel and tell him all the different embarrassing stories about Cloud that you can think of. **_

"Cloud I have a question?"

"Ok"

"Is it true that you've cross dressed before?"

Cloud groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"Zack told you didn't he?"

"Yeah..."__

_**329. Fill Cloud's fridge and pantry with chocobo greens and nuts.**_

Cloud let out a frustrated sigh as he closed the pantry. Zack had WAY to much time on his hands, but then again, what else were you supposed to do when you were dead? __

_**330. While in Nibelheim, tell Cloud's mother that you found her missing chocobo. When she says she never had a chocobo, pull Cloud's helmet off and say, "Yes you did!" **_

His mother actually chuckled thinking it was funny, while Cloud turned bright red from embarrassment and yanked his helmet back on.

"Mom this is my friend Zack, Zack this is mom..."he muttered while he regretted the idea of inviting Zack over to try his mom's home cooking.

_**Author's Notes**_

Busy weekend. On top of memorizing the first half of Loveless I had to finish up my Aerith cosplay for the con, and started on my Reno plushie so I can get Quinton Flynn to sign them (Yes he's going to be there). Also, could you guys go vote in my new poll on my profile? Thanks. _**  
**_

321, 323-324: Me

322, 325-330: ** halledean **


	34. XXXIV Some More Chaos

_**XXXIV Some More Chaos **_

_**331. **_ _**Tie up Genesis and dangle him over a pit of rabid fangirls**_

Zack never saw him looked so frightened before. _****_

332. Give Rude a haircut 

Not many people know that he originally had a giant afro.

_**333. Post a funny facebook status and see what comments you get**_

**Zack Fair **

You and I wake up in a psychiatric ward together. Using 4 words, what would you say to me?

**Cloud Strife **This is your fault.

**Angeal Hewley **Well, this was inevitable...

**Genesis Rhapsados **What the fucking hell?

**Kunsel **Look what you did!

**Zack Fair **Why do you guys keep blaming me?

**Reno Sinclair **Think they have toast?

**Zack Fair **I hope so.

_**334. Have water balloon fight with infantrymen **_

Many people raised an eyebrow when a whole squad of infantrymen walked into ShinRa dripping wet, but then they saw Zack walking in behind them completely dry and smirking and just shrugged. When Zack was obviously involved they tended to stay out of it.

_**335. Play twister with Aerith**_

Now THAT was a fun game...

_**336. Go on a pantie/underwear rave and pin each on the ShinRa building walls **_

NO ONE wanted to know that President Shinra wore pink silky man thongs...

_**337. Go 24 hours without telling Cloud a chocobo joke and see how he reacts**_

He had a feeling that Zack was up to something, but was glad that he had some peace for a bit. _****_

338. Stick a sign on Clouds back that says "pet the chocobo"

He was really freaking out when everyone kept touching and petting his hair.

_**339. Leave a couple of "rubber chocobo" bath toys in clouds bathtub. **_

Cloud just rolled his eyes and took them out.

_**340. Tell Tifa cloud talks about her a lot and flirt with her In front of Cloud in Nibelheim **_

"So, how about one date?" he asked as Sephiroth just rolled his eyes while Cloud gave him a death glare.

_**Author's Notes**_

I tried to get this up before the con, but things were pretty crazy getting ready for it. Anyway I had an awesome time, and I got tons of pics with Crisis Core Zack and Cloud that are now on my DA (OhJayFMAManiac) as well as a video of me, Squall, and Zidane walking into a wall XD However I didn't get to go to that panel and recite Loveless 'cause I was in the date auction and it was at the same time...*Sighs * There's always next year I guess...

I also entered this into the fanfic contest a while back, and it got 2nd place!

Now I know that many of you are sad and disappointed to see this go, but there will be only one more chapter left, and I have **FIVE **spots open for ideas. However, since you guys do enjoy this so much, I'm going to do something similar to this, except it's going to be things specifically that ShinRa banned after Zack did them. I'll try and start on it after I'm done with this one, but school's gonna get pretty crazy since it's the last quarter before graduation, not to mention I've got a skit for ASTL in a month...

331-332, 337-338: **Sunny Lighter**

333: me

334-336: **finalhearts926**

339-340: **HazzaTL3**


	35. XXXV The Chaos Comes To An End

_**XXXIV The Chaos Comes To An End **_

_**341. Appear to cloud wearing a pair of pink over sized novelty sunglasses and clown trousers and act as if he's always worn them **_

"What?" he asked when Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"...You're weird"

_**342. Barricade yourself in Angeal's bedroom claiming you have a women in there and his own room was a mess. **_

Very disturbed by even the thought of what was going on in there, he left the apartment to go get new bed sheets.

_**343. Challenge Aerith to a kissing contest **_

He was actually a little surprised that it worked, but he didn't complain.

_**344. Steal clouds clothes and sword replace with a rifle and grunt uniforms. **_

When he showed up to see his reaction Cloud just glared at him.

"What? I'm just making sure you don't steal my identity again..."

"Uh huh, sure."

_**345. Spread rumors that genesis is directing Loveless on ice. **_

When he heard them he took it as a challenge. It was the best show in Gaia of the year.

_**346. Walk around in a strait jacket **_

"Genesis tied you up again didn't he?" Angeal asked.

"Yeah..."

_**347. Lock Yuffie in Vincent's coffin **_

Vincent was just starting to fall asleep again when, **THUMP!, **Yuffie was suddenly dumped on top of him, and the coffin slammed shut.

"Hey Vincent!"

"..."

He was VERY tempted to just shoot her right then and there.

_**348. Dye Clouds hair silver in the middle of the night. The next morning, go to him and say that you **__**were sorry because it was to late, and you couldn't save him. Proceed to disappear, and let him look in the mirror. Sit back and enjoy the show. **_

Well HE thought it was pretty funny watching his friend completely flip out, but Aerith and Tifa didn't. In short, he got a long lecture and bonked on the head from his girlfriend, and when he went to go apologize to Cloud Tifa slugged him right in the face.

_**349.**_ _**Post signs in Cloud's room that say "Emo corner"**_

Cloud just rolled his eyes and began taking them all down and tossing them in the recycling bin, but quickly found out that he put them EVERYWHERE and also layered them.

_**350. Repeat.**_

"Please tell me you're kidding" Angeal told him.

"Yeah right, you think I made this list for nothing?"

_**Author's Notes**_

Yep, it's over now. I hope you all enjoyed this, and I'd like to thank every one of you that reviewed and gave me ideas. If I didn't get to all of your suggestions I'm sorry, but I was reading them and noticed that they'd actually fit well in **Things Banned from ShinRa **so I'll put them in there ok? I'm actually working on it right now, so it should be up soon ^_^

341-344: **HazzaTL3**

345: **Zerowing 206 **

346-348: **Sunny Lighter**

349-350: Me


End file.
